The space between us started as a crack,
A tiny fault line on the surface
A word misunderstood here; a feeling invalidated there
trust broken through a series of unclear assumptions
We slowly got worn by the strife and anger
and the resentment that became us
Strong though we were, hanging on by a thread
weathering the storms that buffeted what we thought was an impenetrable tower
And it was.
Until that crack became a rift
And slowly we drifted apart
Pulling away, even while trying to stay together
The space between us widening with every minute
Every second of silence, every moment of unrest
Every fight, every argument
every time someone chose not to try
I watched helpless, as we went from lovers
who were totally devoted to each other
To strangers, who had almost nothing to talk about
Our once animated conversations now stilted
reduced to painful small talk
At first, every day
and then, every other day
Our record of talking every day since we met
now broken, long forgotten
It's funny how you don't seek me out anymore
Your day is no longer incomplete without connecting with me
Our closeness is now such a distant memory
that I sometimes wonder if I hadn't just been imagining things
There's no more love in your words
No intimacy in your expressions
The endearments you used, once filled with affection
now ring flat, devoid of feeling
And if you spare me any thoughts throughout your day
I don't know it
When you call, it's like an obligation
a box that you're ticking, as if to say
"There! I called"
There's no more excitement in your voice when you speak to me
It's like all the joy died
We've drifted so far out, we're marooned on a strange island
And we don't know how to get back.
I don't know how to get back.
I'm not even sure you want to get back
you seem content to be like this
Almost as if it's a welcome vacation
from the hard work that is us
I look at you and I don't know you anymore
the man I fell in love with is probably in there somewhere
but he stopped showing himself to me.
And as time passes, and the pain of all the silence takes hold of me
I realize I don't recognize me anymore
The fire died inside me;
leaving a dark pile of rubble in its place.
I want to reach out to you
but there is so much space between us
that I don't think you'd hear my heart speak the way you used to
I don't want to force it, don't want to hold on
to something that's trying to get away from me
But I feel us slipping through my fingers
And I'm just scared to let you go
even though I get the feeling that you aren't afraid to lose me anymore
