I guess I became the girl you always warned your friends about
The girl who wanted more…
What I got was no longer enough.
I wanted not just your love, but your heart,
And a piece of you to call mine.
But it was too much to give
It didn’t matter how many years of my life I had dedicated to us,
To what we were, as wrong as it was
It didn’t matter that I had believed it was possible, fueled by your own confidence
Your own words.
It didn’t matter that when you said ‘One Big Happy Family’ right at the beginning,
I swallowed it hook, line and sinker
How foolish of me to indulge in silly dreams,
How naïve in spite of my old age
And while it is embarrassing for me to recollect
I still acknowledge it as a strong lesson that I had to learn
When you asked me if I was sure this was what I wanted,
I made the mistake of assuming that it was only me who needed to be sure
It didn’t occur to me to ask you if you were sure,
Because it was you asking, so I assumed you were.
In the end, it turns out you weren’t. And you couldn’t.
Even with my fears and worries, I was willing to push ahead
Blindly.
And I didn’t stop to think if you might have second thoughts (or third)
Painful as it is, I am coming to terms with it,
Slowly but surely.
How it will change me, I don’t know yet.
But I’m certain it will,
Just like every other experience before you has.
I thought you’d take a chance on me,
But I guess I wasn’t worth the risk…
