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Things I Couldn’t Say…

I wish I could disappear

Go far far away

From your cold

From your silence

From the dysfunction that is us

 

I wish I could fix it

Take it back to where it was good

And press pause

Or repeat

 

I wish I could get out of this loop

Good; Bad; Very bad; Not so good

Especially the not-so-good parts

Those are the hardest

 

Some days, we seem like strangers

I almost forget

what it’s like when we are friends

The egg shells are really loud

As I step on them without fail

It’s like walking through a minefield

Not sure what’s going to set us off,

Set you off…

 

I wish you would say exactly what you think

Even if it will hurt

I’d prefer knowing

Than imagining

Or guessing

That you’re less than happy

 

I wish you wouldn’t judge me

Not based on what you think

Or what you’ve seen in others

Or even in me

‘cos sometimes, I’m a reflection of you

 

I wish I could escape

The cuts and bruises from your words

Escape the awful, awful way

You sometimes make me feel

 

I wish I didn’t need you so much

Maybe then I could leave

Then I could put all the hurting behind me

And go back to old, lonely me.

MissO

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